Inuyasha and the magic Pills
by Darket
Summary: Kagome finds out about a special pill called Ritalin. Read this humorous children's story. Warning, contains violence, language, and some gore.


**Inuyasha**

"**A Children's Fairy Tale"**

WARNING- this children's show contains violence, gore, drug use, and some blasphemy… Viewer discretion is advised.

Once upon a crappy season of Inuyasha, Kagome came home from Japan and she was mad about how everybody acted. They did violent crap for no reason… No reason at all! One day, Sota talked to Kagome about her problems.

"Are you alright?" asked Sota.

"Yes!" Kagome replied.

"It appears that your friends are annoying. I have some stuff to help you!" Sota said with a gleaming smile.

Sota quickly walked into his room and showed Kagome magic pills, Ritalin! Kagome was confused.

"This is Ritalin! It will help you like it did me!" Sota exclaimed.

Kagome took the Ritalin and looked at the bottle. It had no prescription and Kagome was confused.

"Did mom prescribe you with these?" Kagome asked.

"No…" Sota said as he walked towards the door.

Kagome tried a pill and then she still felt enraged! She ate two more and then… BAM! She saw magical colors and they lead her to the well… Inuyasha saw Kagome climbing out of the well and he helped her up.

"Kagome, are you all right?" pleaded Inuyasha as he held her closely.

"I'm better than ever!" exclaimed Kagome, who was now plain high.

Kagome tried to walk in a straight line and she tripped. Inuyasha discovered her Ritalin and he couldn't get the child proof caps open. Shippo opened the bottle for him and Inuyasha picked up a pill. He sniffed it and ate one. Nothing happened and Shippo ate a handful. Miroku and Sango ate some and Inuyasha had more. At this point, the magical colors flowed in their eyes. Shippo was in a magical land of rainbows, mushrooms, and happy kittens. But in real life, Shippo had OD'd on Ritalin and suffered a vicious stroke!

"ARGH! BLUGHH!!! BLAHHHH!!!!" Screamed Shippo as he foamed at the mouth.

Everybody was happy and Kelala knew that she was the only one left. Just then, Niraku and a band of demons showed up… Communistic demon pirates that is!

"ARRR- we'll be taking those Shikon Jewel fragments from you!" said the captain.

Kelala stood and ran in front of her friends.

"Over my dead body you Communist demon pirate bastards!!!" screamed Kelala as she threw a ninja shuriken star at the Captain.

"AGHHH!!! YAHHH!!! GRRRR!!!" screamed the captain in terror as the deadly ninja star pierced his brain causing severe brain damage in the medulla oblengata.

Quickly, Kelala pulled out two Desert Eagles with .50 caliber bullets.

"BLAM! BLAM! BANG! BANG!" went the guns.

"AGH! BLUGH! RAHHH!!! Screamed the first demon pirate as he fell face first into a pit of his own blood.

"AGHH! ROOOO!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!! EGH!" screamed the second demon pirate as his chest exploded, releasing vital organs and bone chips.

After the gun smoke cleared, the pirates were uh… Sleeping! Just then, Niraku came to Kelala with his demons ready.

"You had fun killing my men, but you wont kill me!" said Niraku, as he grew stronger.

Shippo was shaking from the pills and he rolled into the road. A carriage ran him over, leaving him to die an insufferable pain.

"WHY GOD, WHY?" cried Shippo as he began to have eternal bleeding from his body.

Inuyasha knew that he was in trouble, so he had to save Kagome because it would be the only possible way to tap that fine, firm, tight ass later.

"Hey Niraku, try some of these! There better than shards!" Inuyasha said as he held up the pills.

"What the hell are these?" Niraku asked.

"Magic!" the group said while staring at him with their blood shot eyes.

Niraku took 5 of them and then he all the sudden started to see colors, which was his body trying to fight of the medication! They sat in the grass and talked while coloring on each other with sharpie magic markers. It was a fun day. Just then Sesshomaru saved Shippo. He used the magic of the Tensaiga. Grateful to be alive, Shippo bought Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken glow sticks so they can have more pills and rave! Just then, a cop pulled up in his chronologically inaccurate cop car.

"Shippo, you appear to be alive. I guess you were the one who killed those demons and beat up those squirming people on the ground. I'm making you an honorary D.E.A. agent like Max Payne. Wasn't that game so cool?" the cop asked.

"No thanks," said Shippo, "I have to go and collect Jewel fragments before that pill popping Niraku get up and gets them. But the shards are all over the country!"

"Well you're in luck Shippo! I have the fastest cop car in all of Fuedal Japan! I can give you a ride, so hop in!" the cop said.

Shippo opened up the passenger door and looked at the cop.

"You're not going to molest me, are you? Because the guy who writes this crap got in trouble for stuff like this… Funny, this is all so familiar…" Shippo said.

"HEE! HEE! HEE! Get in little boy!" the cop said.

Shippo got in with the cop on a simple ride down the road. YOU HEAR THAT?! NOTHING HAPPENED! THEY JUST WENT TO LOOK FOR SHARDS YOU OVERRATTED ASSHOLES!!! Back to my story… The cop drove off and the car was loud.

"VROOM! VROOM!" went the car.

"WOO! WOO!" went the sirens.

"Hide the pills!" yelled Kagome.

"I eat the talking bees because I'm George Washington Christ!" said Inuyasha.

"WTF?" said Sango.

Rin and Sesshomaru were on the side of the road and they needed a ride. Sesshomaru walked off and Rin followed. Niraku was on the ground and he looked up.

"I like these pills! Eat half now, and then take the other half later!!!" Niraku exclaimed.

"Shut up!" replied Kagome.

Shippo and the cop collected all of the fragments and had two left. Koga was in the road laughing at them because he was faster and the cop ran his ass over. Shippo pried the Jewel fragments from his cold, dead flesh. They went back to the well and the cop saluted Shippo.

"I have to go and kill myself before I screw up the fabric of time in space with this car." The cop said.

He drove off and drove into a cliff. Inuyasha and his friends decided to go to the future and get more pills. Sota said that his supply was out and Kagome was crazy for them. Jokingly Sota pulled out a bottle and handed the pills to her. Kagome was happy indeed! Then she turned to Sota and they all laughed.

"Sota, if you ever run out supplies for these pills, I'll fucking kill you!" Kagome said.

The End!

JT closed the book and smiled. The kids were terrified and they shivered.

"Will those pills kill them?" the girl asked.

"Hahaha… YOUR DAMN RIGHT THEY'LL KILL YOU!!!! You take them that much, there isn't a magic sword to cure you, you're dead! Remember that when your parents try and give you medicine. Not too much now!" JT said with a smirk.

He walked off and the he got an email at his Yahoo account saying that his fanfic will get censored. He told them, HEY! Read "Beta's Assault" and "Mega man Endgame" which are located under his profile because he said so. TEE HEE!


End file.
